I Remember You

I remember you.

When I was small and you would hold me in your arms, like a protective cloak, nothing could hurt me.

Your hands were rough and soft at the same time, a gentle giant.

I remember you would tell me stories in bed, complete with voices for each character.

Brut or Old Spice mixed with cigarettes, cheap aftershave, but it always smelt nice on you.

I remember you laughing, and I remember your laugh being so infectious, and usually funnier than what you were laughing I at.

Every Thursday was payday, chippy tea and a chocolate bar treat.

I remember your kindness and your wisdom. If you shouted at me I knew I had done something really bad, as your patience seemed endless until it ran out.

Late night Christmas shopping, an old lady singing along to Silent Night, you joined in. I was mortified.

I remember the late night lifts, your hard work ethic and your compassion towards everyone.

I remember the day you told me you were sick. Those words you spoke,

“At best they will try to treat me, at worst it’s 3-6 months”.

I remember falling on you in disbelief and wailing; it was the only time I saw you cry, typical that you were crying for me, not for yourself.

I remember watching you fight and being so brave, I thought you were immortal.

You showed me how to change a plug and check the oil in my car. You took a speeding ticket for my Mum. Ever practical.

I remember saying, “I won’t be long”.

I was half an hour.

I left you for half an hour.

By the time I got back, you had left me for a lifetime.

Photo albums are my favourite, I could sit and paw at them for hours, they are like a time machine without the need for plutonium.

I remember feeling like I had been suspended in the sky by my ankles, the world carried on spinning but I was stuck.

My heart was broken and you took a piece. It has since been replaced with scar tissue and I wouldn’t want it any other way, for that fragment will always belong with you.

I remember you, every time I hear your advice in my head, I see a heron standing wise, I walk in nature, or hear Steve Harley on the radio.

I remember you. How could I forget.